Rodrigo Brand | Blue Skies
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Blue Skies



*Schuman waits by himself. He seems cold. Rupert arrives.

Schuman: so, what’s the punchline?
Rupert: what do you mean what’s the punchline?
Schuman: the punchline, you didn’t bring it?
Rupert: I thought you were supposed to bring it.
Schuman: we’ve got no punchline.
Rupert: fuck.
Schuman: tell me about it!
Rupert: what do we do now?
Schuman: you ask me?

Rupert: we could use an old one.
Schuman: no one is interested in old punchlines!!

Schuman: my bones are freezing.
Rupert: we could talk about the weather. people talk about the weather awful a lot.
Schuman: why is it so cold?
Rupert: you’re getting old, Schuman.
Schuman: shut up, Rupert.

Schuman: weather. who cares about the weather? you go outside, you take a look, done. there you go, you know the weather. no need to talk about it.
Rupert: people need to talk about something.
Schuman: not the weather, Rupert! you wanna know about the weather? it’s cold and grey! there! now you know! now everybody knows!
Rupert: I’m sorry.

Schuman: you had one job.
Rupert: I’m sorry.

Rupert: how about a joke? we could tell a joke.
Schuman: do you know a joke?
Rupert: why did the chicken cross the street?
Schuman: why?
Rupert: because it’s New York and there’s too much traffic to drive.

*Schuman stares.

Rupert: and the subway sucks?

*Schuman keeps staring.

Rupert: I’m sorry.

Schuman: I can’t believe it… we’ve got no punchline. I don’t know what to do. do you know what to do?
Rupert: I’m sorry.
Schuman: and stop apologizing! it gets to my nerves.
Rupert: sorry. I mean… I won’t forget next time.
Schuman: I’m not going into the club. people are gonna stare. they expect something, they always expect something. something… big, unexpected! can you imagine? going to the club without a punchline? what we gonna do? just stand there?
Rupert: you hate me.
Schuman: I don’t hate you.
Rupert: yes, you hate me.
Schuman: you do these things sometimes. you… forget stuff.
Rupert: like what?
Schuman: like… like my birthday. you forgot my birthday.
Rupert: oh, my… is it your birthday?
Schuman: I don’t wanna talk about it.
Rupert: oh, come on, come here.

*Rupert comes close. Schuman pushes him away.

Schuman: what you doing? you’re gonna hug me now?
Rupert: I…
Schuman: first you forget my birthday and now you wanna hug me?
Rupert: I thought…
Schuman: you know what, Rupert? let me do the thinking from now on, okay? okay?
Rupert: okay.
Schuman: and don’t stand so close, what people gonna think? that we’re a couple?
Rupert: I’m–
Schuman: don’t say it, don’t you say it!

*Beat. They stand there. Both of them seem cold. Schuman looks up. Rupert looks up. Schuman looks at Rupert. Rupert looks at Schuman.

Schuman: you had to talk about the weather.

*Schuman opens an umbrella, stays under it. Rupert embraces himself, he seems really cold.

Rupert: you were right, it’s really cold.
Schuman: I told you.

Rupert: Schuman…
Schuman: what?
Rupert: Can I…?

*Schuman looks at Rupert. They look at each other.

Schuman: alright, alright.

*Rupert comes under the umbrella. They stay awfully close to each other. They just stand there under the umbrella. Then Rupert gently puts his arm around Schuman. On his shoulder.

Rupert: happy birthday, Schuman.

1 Comment
  • Maria
    Posted at 12:35h, 10 February Reply

    happy birthday, Schuman!

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