Rodrigo Brand | It's a good life
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It’s a good life

 

An underground bar.

A ragged CLIENT sleeps over the counter. The BARTENDER, fancy and composed like a British butler, dries a glass in front of him not bother one single bit.

The Client wakes up, clearly hung over. He looks around – not one single soul. He tries to figure out what happened, where he is. Turns to the Bartender.

Client: Excuse me…

Bartender: Yes?

Client: Can you tell me how long I’ve been here?

Bartender: A while, sir.

Client: A while…?

Bartender: Since last night, sir.

Client: Oh.

Breathes in, tries to remember.

Client: And… Sorry, can you tell me if… If I…

Bartender: Sir?

Client: Did something… Unusual?

The Bartender is awfully calm and polite.

Bartender: Everybody that comes here, sir, does… unusual things.

Client: Right.

The Client stares at the Bartender waiting for him to continue. He does not.

Client: Like?

Bartender: Well, drinking until they literally pass out, dancing ON the tables, wearing costumes, wearing nothing at all, using objects–

The Client reaches for the Bartender, touches him.

Client: Did you say objects??

Bartender: Yes, sir.

Client: What kind of objects? I mean–

Bartender: Drugs, are allowed in the house, sir. You can only imagine what people do when they feel they are free to. It’s an awful good feeling.

Client: Is it?

Bartender: Liberty. Freedom. Very… Opening.

Client: I see. And… By any chance, do you remember with who I was last night?

Bartender: Everybody, sir.

Client: Pardon me?

Bartender: With every single soul in the house.

Client: Oh. Right.

Bartender: If I may… you seemed very certain of that.

Client: Of…?

Bartender: Knowing everybody, sir. Intimately.

Client: Intimately?

Bartender: Like old friends. Like very good old friends.

Client: Thank God. And all these people?

Bartender: Are long gone, sir.

Client: The ones I came with?

Bartender: Registered everything.

Client: Registered? You mean–

Bartender: Yes.

The Client sighs. Looks around again. The bar is impeccably clean and organized, like nothing has ever happened. He turns to the Bartender once more.

Client: What about the bill?

Bartender: Paid.

Client: With my money.

Bartender: Naturally.

Client: The whole bill, I assume.

Bartender: I believe that to be correct.

Client: Did I tip?

Batender: You were absurdly generous.

Client: Of course. Any messages?

Bartender: To serve you a drink as soon as you wake up.

Client: Sure.

The Client taps the counter.

Client: When does the house re-open?

Bartender: In about 45 minutes, sir.

Client: The drink?

Bartender: Any of your choice.

The Bartender gets a Martini glass.

Bartender: Martini?

The Client nods. The Bartender pours.

Client: No! Wait!

Bartender: Yes?

The Client considers.

Client: No olive this time.

Bartender: Certainly.

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