20 Nov It’s a good life
An underground bar.
A ragged CLIENT sleeps over the counter. The BARTENDER, fancy and composed like a British butler, dries a glass in front of him not bother one single bit.
The Client wakes up, clearly hung over. He looks around – not one single soul. He tries to figure out what happened, where he is. Turns to the Bartender.
Client: Excuse me…
Client: Can you tell me how long I’ve been here?
Bartender: A while, sir.
Client: A while…?
Bartender: Since last night, sir.
Breathes in, tries to remember.
Client: And… Sorry, can you tell me if… If I…
Client: Did something… Unusual?
The Bartender is awfully calm and polite.
Bartender: Everybody that comes here, sir, does… unusual things.
The Client stares at the Bartender waiting for him to continue. He does not.
Bartender: Well, drinking until they literally pass out, dancing ON the tables, wearing costumes, wearing nothing at all, using objects–
The Client reaches for the Bartender, touches him.
Client: Did you say objects??
Bartender: Yes, sir.
Client: What kind of objects? I mean–
Bartender: Drugs, are allowed in the house, sir. You can only imagine what people do when they feel they are free to. It’s an awful good feeling.
Client: Is it?
Bartender: Liberty. Freedom. Very… Opening.
Client: I see. And… By any chance, do you remember with who I was last night?
Bartender: Everybody, sir.
Client: Pardon me?
Bartender: With every single soul in the house.
Client: Oh. Right.
Bartender: If I may… you seemed very certain of that.
Bartender: Knowing everybody, sir. Intimately.
Bartender: Like old friends. Like very good old friends.
Client: Thank God. And all these people?
Bartender: Are long gone, sir.
Client: The ones I came with?
Bartender: Registered everything.
Client: Registered? You mean–
The Client sighs. Looks around again. The bar is impeccably clean and organized, like nothing has ever happened. He turns to the Bartender once more.
Client: What about the bill?
Client: With my money.
Client: The whole bill, I assume.
Bartender: I believe that to be correct.
Client: Did I tip?
Batender: You were absurdly generous.
Client: Of course. Any messages?
Bartender: To serve you a drink as soon as you wake up.
The Client taps the counter.
Client: When does the house re-open?
Bartender: In about 45 minutes, sir.
Client: The drink?
Bartender: Any of your choice.
The Bartender gets a Martini glass.
The Client nods. The Bartender pours.
Client: No! Wait!
The Client considers.
Client: No olive this time.